Attack On Camelstan - Ara-Camel Edition

“Heh, so you want to hear my story? Well I guess I can tell you. Don’t share it with anyone though.” It was a very beautiful day, I was aboard camel airline C750-D on a luxury trip to Camelstan. But, then the plane was attacked by AA goat cannons, which fire super velocity missiles and photon beams as their main battery, our planes battery was a mtn dew soda can recycler. They destroyed the plane and everybody died, except me! I knew this day would come, I lept out the window and lunged towards the AA cannons. Sir Mesastopheles came flying at me at full power, but I slapped him across the face and stabbed him through the side of his head with a lightsaber. I continued towards the AA cannons but I was knocked unconscious by a pack of roaming rabid seagulls.

That morning I woke up in an enemy controlled prison, they harassed me, poked me and made me lick moldy carpets. I heard a wild stomping in the distance, it was the Camrog! A mighty beast of legend, and it was here to save me. It crashed through the enemy base like nothing and sucked me into it’s thick, matted hide. It was like the amazon in there, it took me about 2.5 millennia to find my way to his head, and he was still stomping the enemy base. I rode the massive beast into the glorious battle of Neverland, where I attempted to fire my full power, but I overheated and my eyes melted out of my sockets. We heard a loud buzzing sound and we saw Hawaii implode, Hawaii was the name of our 9999th capital, and one of the only decent cities in CamelDesert.

The camels were horrified, and they all started bawling. There was a massive earthquake, and everyone halted with their sadness. The desert dunes shook, and mighty cam worms appeared from the great moldy dunes. They ate every living thing they could fine, llamas, camels, goats, space aliens, you name it. It was Judgement Day. The goats were winning, our SPAF, Anteater armies and laser camels weren’t enough to stop the force of the mighty goat army. They were led by Sir Geoffrey, a mighty goat king. I traveled into the far corners of space in the starship enterprise and activated our orbital laser. I pinpointed the coordinates with my face, and sent the laser into overdrive mode. It fired a massive beam of pure death towards the battlecruiser, destroying it. This sent the goats into shock, they all had massive seizures and retreated to the under desert.

One goat was still alive, jeff. He pulled out a massive broken wire and ate it, then the dunes started to rumble again, a massive arm lifted itself through the dunes of CamelDesert. It appeared through the dunes and in clear rainbow, luminescent letters painted across its face it said “CamelBoster.” Goats aren’t great spellers. The camels last hope were the alpacas. I called in the greatest warriors, the Alpaca elites, they targeted the camel buster and fired their photon beams at full power. It was not over however, a rabid barbacamel army from kepler 22c came down in a mighty mech made of recycled one direction posters.

They came seeking to destroy this much more domestic race of camels, not knowing of the battle that currently ensued between them and the goats. The battle between these 2 camel nations was glorious, and lasted about 20 minutes. Their leader collapsed and died of a clogged artery, blood filled his left leg and it imploded. But the hardest moment had yet to come. My arch nemesis, Reuben, the space pirate. I, Aracamel and my compadre Darth Camel led the defense of the great dunes and tumbleweeds of camel desert. The llamas attacked first but they hit a massive pholopse shield, causing them to get trapped in the 11th dimension, aka the multiverse.

The camels had enough of this farce, Aracamel called upon the greatest warrior of camel desert. Sauro Camel The Ugly, great ruler of Hurrdurr, and holds the title for dumbest thing in known existence. Legocamel, master of the forbidden art, the bowcaster art. Camdalf, great warrior of the badlands. Myself, a great hoofsman. Froyo swaggins, master of the camel shoe. Borocamel, the loner. Camwise, master of the multiboard. Cami, nobody likes Cami. Merrcamel, master of the hobbit camels, and Camli, master of midget camels. These not so brave warriors called upon all the great armies. The Camrogs, Alpacas and even the Llamas. Then… they went to war!

It was a glorious battle, Camdalf and co. was even able to level up! Both sides suffered extreme losses both mentally, and physically. Just as they were starting to get rejuvenated, the goats army flag ship appeared from under the dunes and started charging the uber lazor. The camrog and camdalf made a crucial decision, they decided to use the ultimate power. The fusion between the camrog and Camdalf is unmatchable. They threw pizza at each other and then they flew towards each other, doing fusion. It created the most powerful thing in existence, Camdalf The Poncho.

He came equipped with mouth beams, vulcan chainguns with fmj modifications, a 10 year old moldy fedora, a size to small poncho, fake Gucci shoes and a E-Camel  NicoCamel Vaporizer, gold edition. He was about to fire his vulcans, but a r`ock got stuck in the chain mechanism and he didn’t have enough time to get it out. He pulled out a broken duck call and tossed it into the dunes. There was a very loud atrocious squeal and rumble from below. It was the Cracen! A monstrous mix between llama, alpaca, camel and camrog. This monster was accidentally created during the nuclear fettuccine tests of 1955.

The Cracen attached itself to the hull of the flagship, ripping and tearing through the metal, eating goats like ants to an anteater. But, Sir Mesastopheles was still alive, he did a very stereotypical anime style lunge attack at the Cracen, and they engaged in a 1v1. The flagship was smoking and it was badly damaged, but Mesastopheles managed to cut the Cracens tendrils off and it squealed and returned to the underdesert. Camdalf was sniffing the dunes and he found 2x metal scrap, 1x broken fire extinguisher and 3x  shankatite. He spawned in his trusty workbench, put the items on the table and repeatedly started bashing his head against the materials, thus he superheated the ingredients and combined them together to make the Pilgrim Cannon Of The 5 Nations Of Swag, a legendary weapon capable of destroying all. He shot it in the direction of the goat army, causing a massive atomic explosion decimating everything that he was pointing at. The goats were defeated, the camels had won.

* book slams shut* Tell us more grandpa Aracamel!! “NO, SCRAM YOU VILE CHILDREN” Aracamel was ambushed by wild dogs and was killed that night, he respawned in a tattoo parlor for the handicapped and mentally disfunctioned.